***this post will have material up until 3/20/2020.
WOW how things have changed!
{Perhaps the big news before all of this broke is that I got a new bike! I’m so excited, and I feel so powerful zooming through the medieval streets on it. It makes getting to carpool pick up and my clases particulares infinitely more efficient and smooth, and I’m so happy with it.}
As others are saying, things have moved at a rapid pace and it is very overwhelming and exhausted. First and foremost, I am safe and stable in Pontevedra in my apartment with Arantxa and Michella the cat; her family, as well as my school commnity are looking after us as best anyone can while on lockdown, and I feel confident that I will have any necessary medical treatment if I were to get sick. Because of that, I decided to stay in Spain. Additionally, traveling will put me in more danger, never mind getting into the complexities of going home/quarantining somewhere else – home will not be an option until I am clear of quarantine, as mom simply cannot and will not survive contracting covid-19. ME QUEDO EN CASA / ME QUEDO EN ESPAÑA
how on earth did we get here?
On Thursday, March 12th, Galician schools offiically announced that they would close for 2 weeks starting on March 16th (the next Monday). That morning, I had taught a class on covid-19 and its social implications (i.e. racism) and the importance of basic hand washing skills. The rest of the week had been focused on International Women’s Day, and it was AMAZING to see my students engage and get really into the material, asking deep questions. It gives me a lot of faith in the world to see young teens taking notice and interest of acute and systemic social issues revolving around gender, as a starting point. Anyway, lots of important lesson this week!
All day, there was a nervous energy in the air – everyone could feel it, and for me it was reminiscent of when a snow day was looming. My class after recreo (break time) was cancelled due to a test, so I wandered down to the weekly Thursday market to pick up some lunch. I grabbed a few of my favorite empanadillas and went to the beach. I laid and rested in the sun for quite a while, and as time was nearing for me to head back and teach my last class of the day, I checked my phone. BOOM. The announcement about school cancellation had arrived. This was not a surprise at all, as other regions of Spain had already closed schools. My 12 year old students were ecstatic at the thought of NO SCHOOL for 2 weeks…we had no word on shifting to school online, etc. at the time. The energy was palpable. Fortunately, they were able to channel their excitement into class, and it was reasonably productive. As the day ended, I had a weird, slightly disconnected feeling. I felt as if it were all moving in slo-mo, and I made sure to look back and take one final look at the school building.
Jorge drove me home, per usual on Thursdays, and it is always interesting to hear his opinion on things. We chatted about covid-19, the state of the world, and what lockdown might look like for us, especially what meals might look like! Nothing too crazy on Thursday.
This brings us to Friday the 13th – and wow it lived up to its reputation. I responsibly let myself rest after a full week of classes and travel, and then I knew I needed to stock up. Schools had been closed, and whatever might come next could be announced at any minute, and better to be safe than sorry. I went to the store, which was busy but far from crazy or hectic for shoppers. The workers are heroes. I bought so much tuna and so many potatoes it’s horrifying, but at least I have plenty of other non-perishables, as well as some fresh fruit and veggies. Between Arantxa and I, we’re well prepared for whatever comes. I tried to go to the archives to crank through some documents / have some more source material to dissect during any possible lockdown, but they were already closed for safety precautions. This was a bummer, but I just biked around for a bit instead. Not a bad afternoon – the weather is pretty good, and it was so nice to be outside, wandering. I had plans to get cake with Josh and Amanda and really anyone else who was free, and I was waiting in the large Praza Estrella (ok it has at least 5 names but this is the one google maps says) when I got a terrible email. The CDC had raised Spain to a Level 3, and we were all “strongly recommended” to return to the US immediately.
This was not a pleasant thing to see, and it greatly shook things up for all of us. It was, however, voluntary. Galicia is pretty stable, especially compared to the rest of Spain, and infinitely more stable than what the US trends are predicting. This warning was nothing to take lightly; there are serious things to think through. We still went to get cake, and we made the most of the time we had together in that moment. It helped immensely to talk out our options with each other, and then to go home and make my pro/con lists before calling home.
Due to a variety of factors, I made the decision to stay and ride the pandemic out here. It is the right decision for this situation, and I am grateful that my family is making it clear that they respect my decision and will support me either way.
Later on, I talked to several dear friends from home/Creighton and it healed me from the stress of ~this~ How lucky we are to have technology at our disposal. That being said, I am trying to monitor and limit my exposure to the news/information and digital screens in general for both my physical and mental health.
Saturday: okay so we woke up to find out that a State of Emergency/Alarm had been announced last night, and it was supposed to go into effect Monday. However, things were very state-of-alarm-y so Arantxa and I started our lockdown TODAY. Hence, this is my day 1. I went to the grocery store in the morning for some final things, and then disinfected myself and prepared to hunker down.
Seeing some of my Fulbright friends start to leave was difficult, and regardless of how this goes for me, it is profoundly hard to reconcile the fact that this experience as we knew and hoped for it to go was over. It is frustrating and difficult; fortunately – and at this point unsurprisingly – this is a group of people who are resolutely supporting each other regardless of what individual decisions are being made. However, I still have strong support here and a wide network within the Pontevedra auxiliar community (friends!) and the general local community. We have a beautiful terrace at our apartment, and this alone will get us through whatever amount of undetermined time we have before us in lockdown. We spent a couple hours scrubbing every inch of it, so it is sparkling clean and lockdown ready.
Tonight was the first night that we clapped. At 10pm, I was startled by a cacophony of noises – someone had started a campaign to have people clap from our balconies at 10pm to honor our healthcare workers on the frontline at hospitals, working to save lives and keep the medical system from collapsing. It is chilling and profound and I was deeply moved.
Sunday: today was stressful and I am definitely slowly and maybe unsteadily adjusting to the new speed of life/reality. There is no sun, which is certainly not helping, and I was extremely worried that Arantxa would not be able to return from her parents’ house, where she spent the night. I wasn’t sure if roads were blocked or not. Fortunately, she returned and I cried with relief for approximately 45 minutes. I apparently had a lot to cry. I slowly sketched out an idea of a routine for the next couple days, and I am feeling more stable as I go to bed. Update: my parents called to check in and I cried a lot more, but I also feel much better now. Perhaps I’ve adapted to this reality.
Monday: today is John’s birthday! The fact that my little brother is 20 makes me feel old, and it was fun to celebrate him from afar. He is at home with mom and dad, which means that he is basically in lockdown as well because that is how we have to live until this pandemic passes and we do not live in abject fear of infecting mom. In a way, a lot of the new measures/habits people need to adapt are how we have to function anyway; obviously, they’re adapting more stringent measures and have heightened awareness. I feel confident in my decision to stay and very stable where I’m at. This is the right call! Arantxa and I are working out together and working on individual projects and also just hanging out, so the time is passing reasonably well. I also took out the trash today, so I got to leave the apartment!
Tuesday: a good day! I have been making bigger breakfasts because what else am I to do, and it was so sunny and warm today. I thankfully stocked up on sunscreen right before the lockdown, and I put on a swimsuit and laid out for most of the day. I read a great book (in english, needed a break) and the sunscreen was good quality and worked pretty well. woohoo! our terrace is really beautiful, and we’re so lucky to have it. Talked with friends and family from home quite a bit today, and it was really nice.
Wednesday: I genuinely thought I had coronavirus today. I fortunately do not have a fever and it turned out to be a migraine and absolutely partially anxiety; I caught the migraine in time and was able to sleep it off after medicine. Kinda one of those gross days. oh well.
Thursday: things are stable and good. I played with some research stuff, and it’s keeping me busy in a healthy way. There is SO MUCH interesting stuff in regard to the History of Science and Medicine here, but it’s a little hard to find other scholarly sources to help ground my work. However, that means there’s SO MUCH to study and write! I’m really grateful that John was bored enough to help me remotely find some different articles, so he helped me put some things together – john the historian! he will be furious to read this. Additionally, we cleaned things today. So far, so good. Things are tense, generally, in life, but they are stable. I am so lucky to have a good apartment and a great roommate and her family’s support. Doing fine riding out the pandemic here. There are rumors the State Department/CDC/important, competent, and legitimate authorities will declare all countries to be a Level 4. If this happens, things might get complicated quickly. However, based on the information we received last week when I decided to stay, I am still planning on staying here.
Friday, 3/20/2020: Such a good morning! Officially, all countries have been declared a Level 4, but we don’t quite know what this specifically means for us yet. I have been meaning to do this, but I spent all morning cleaning, sorting, and organizing my room and its possessions. I even redecorated and it’s so nice! I felt very productive and it was a good feeling; also, creating a good space for myself to rest in was very important for me. Arantxa and I obviously hung out for part of the afternoon, and it’s been relaxing. We will see what the email from Fulbright says, if and when we get one, to clarify any status change resulting from Spain (and everywhere else) reaching a Level 4.
I must say a few things:
watching the pandemic and its panic start to spread across the US is really difficult. It has wiped out our experience and reality here as we knew it, and it is literally not difficult to see the carnage in countries that acted slowly (Italy and Spain, for example). Especially when I am in lockdown here, to see people out and blatantly disregard warnings and social distancing requests is sickening and infuriating (obviously there are exceptions and some people do not have choices to go to work or to go care for another person, etc., and that’s beside the point). It is emotionally adding up and taking a toll. Why do we struggle so much as a society to temporarily inconvenience ourselves and our routines, even for the obvious greater good of the public? There is so much unknown about this virus, but it is not good and information keeps getting worse and worse; this is never how I expected to be spending at least two weeks of my life here in Spain, but it’s for my health, the health of people like my mom?!, and for the health and sanity of our medical professionals and other essential workers. please.
my fulbright year 